Motivation #1: Lack of Adequate Resources

Still, it’s about more than paying tribute to the positive elements in my life and understanding and sharing how they saved me and made me who I am today. It’s about more than facing the things in my life that I packed away in a neat little box in the depths of my brain while trying to deal with day to day life and achieving my goals. And it’s about more than using this journey to help others deal with similar life struggles, understanding their hardships better through mine, or finding their silver lining so that they can heal (if I can be so lucky to help even one person in any of those ways).  

I can’t share my experiences without addressing the current state of resources available to deal with the severely mentally ill in contemporary society in The United States. Over the years, I have made many attempts to get my father the long term psychiatric care he would need to stabilize on medication and end his cycle of homeless, jail, mental hospital, release too soon, repeat. Others have tried to help as well: social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, police officers, attorneys, you name it- and all over the country! I am grateful for the countless conversations I have had with caring people who were legitimately concerned with my father's best interests. 

Unfortunately, there were always road blocks to impede my dad's progress. Some were put in place with the best of intentions to protect individual rights; for instance, HIPPA. I can't tell you how many times HIPPA worked against my efforts to communicate with people involved in my father's care in a timely fashion when the clock was always ticking. Other hurdles were due to unavailable, nonexistent, or inadequate mental health services designed for people like my father. All of the hospitals and state run psychiatric facilities my father has been admitted in over the years emphasize short term band aids i.e. "stabilize, then release" given institutional constraints (legal issues, budget limitations, overcrowding) rather than longer term solutions. Later as I go through my journey trying to get my dad back, specific examples will make this sad truth undeniably apparent. 

The only exception may be the state hospital where my father currently resides, but only because he has pending criminal charges and is currently deemed incompetent, meaning that legally he can't be released- more on that later. And there are others just like dad roaming the streets, filling our jails, and living a sad, nomadic life without hope…with families that love them and want to help them get the help that they need. And it’s difficult to say but currently there is little to no hope for people like my dad. But there could be. And there should be.