For my book, I intend to chronologically document the roller coaster ride of my father's "breakdown" and aftermath throughout the subsequent decade (to the present) as well as its effect on the lives of my brothers and myself: the process of getting legal custody of Ian and what it was like successfully raising a 9 year old as a twenty one year old (He is now 20! I did it! Was I perfect or even close? Absolutely, positively not! That was my 20s- well that and school- but I wouldn't take it back for anything. Ian is super intelligent, charming, insightful, ... the list goes on and on...Yes, we still fight like siblings and he definitely hated me for awhile lol..still soooo worth it :)), other familial crises along the way, and how I managed to simultaneously fulfill my educational aspirations and become what I believe is a stronger person because of adversity.
However, one of my biggest regrets is not keeping track of everything in detail as it was happening...aside from legal documents, medical and arrest records, etc.. which will be included as important research data for this manuscript. Had I kept a detailed written record much of this book would have been written! I will say, though, that even at this early stage the process of reflecting on things that I spent many years shelving and avoiding in the depths of my subconscious mind has already been mentally taxing to a degree and will continue to be. Cathartic? Yes. Important and worthy to describe, analyze, and share? In my opinion, absolutely.
CURRENT AFFAIRS
My father is currently institutionalized in a psychiatric state hospital in Florida. He committed a criminal offense in 2010 (this is not rare; my dad has a lengthy arrest record in a minimum of ten states throughout the country- homeless type offenses, all while off his medication and psychotic. He has NEVER been physically violent no matter how delusional and sick). Usually the courts recognize his mental illness, drop the charges, and hospitalize him. He starts to get better with medication and stabilize but due to the lack of space in psychiatric facilities and typical legal process in dealing with people like my father, they release him into a less structured environment where he decompensates and ultimately stops taking his medication. Then the cycle repeats. And repeats. Well this time in Florida it was different. They didn't drop the charges. His public defender saw immediately how mentally ill my father was when he visited him in jail, but it took NEARLY A YEAR to get my dad into a psychiatric facility. Once transferred there and eventually to a second state run facility where he now resdies, my father's condition has been steadily improving. He calls me regularly and I can happily report that the mumbling, nonsensical, fragmented conversations are slowly turning into actual conversation.
The problem? My dad is "awaiting competency" to face his criminal charges. What this means is that if he improves enough, he may be returned to jail. What do you think will happen then? Complete decompensation of course. It's a catch-22 and I pray it won't become a possibility. I am having a hard time getting all of the contact information I need as I'm sure the social worker there is overloaded with too many cases as most tend to be unfortunately, but will be diligent so that I can protest, send documentation, and talk to everyone involved in this process should it become an issue. If potential competency is not considered, the charges against my father will be dropped 5 years after his arrest date and he will be released. This is another potential disaster of course, as my father may very well stop taking his medication in an unstructured environment and return to homelessness and his nomadic life. This was dangerous enough in 1999-2010 throughout his 50s, but as a man in his early 60s? I don't want to think about it. His former public defender warned me about this: the clock is ticking, and if I don't have or get resources to be able to provide the environment dad needs for at least a chance of stability, the cycle will likely repeat. He's seen it "way too many times". So have I. At least I have a little time....
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